


I'll find my way back to you (don’t give up on me)

by lostinthesounds



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood and a bit of gore, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I just need to write this, Love Confessions, Mentions of Violence, Protective!Bellamy, because for obvious reasons, inspired by 5x16 of teen wolf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23622415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: "Clarke, listen to me." He grabs her face in his hands, fingers tingling with the sensation of her clammy skin under his hands. "I need you to save the reprimanding for later, when we're out of his place. Let me save your life first, and you could yell at me when we're done." He stops to slow his heartrate with a sharp inhale. "Got it?"Clarke doesn't have the strength to answer him, so she nods slowly.Bellamy doesn't have supernatural powers like his friends, so when he's closer than he's ever been in finding Clarke when she's stuck being experimented on at Polis Mental Institute, he really wished that he did.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 90





	I'll find my way back to you (don’t give up on me)

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't felt this inspired to write a fic in so long, but this is dedicated to Emily because she's kept up with my teen wolf obsessions as I watch for the first time, and 5x16 was an absolute glory of an episode. So, please enjoy this hopefully (not a total mess) of some worried Bellamy and a little take on the worlds of supernatural and bellarke mixed together.

_"One step closer_   
_Closer to the light_   
_No matter where we're going_   
_I'll be by your side_   
_And everything we used to know_   
_Crashed into the great unknown_   
_One step closer_   
_We're gonna be alright"_

Bellamy rounded the corner with a sharp turn, pushing himself to keep going even when his legs burned. With a heavy conscious, and regret already pooling in his stomach, he followed Murphy down the corridor and dark tunnels beneath Polis Institute. _Save, Clarke_. He kept telling himself, to stay distracted from the reality of siding with the enemy. Murphy may of tried to convince him that they were after the same goal, that he was only going after the Beast (which he just recently found out was a man named Charles Pike) and wasn't trying to kill Gabriel or any of his friends. 

_Save Clarke._ He told himself, even when Murphy came to a halt to catch his breath. Even when Murphy panted, saying that he couldn't catch Clarke's scent using her previous scream to guide them. 

Something inside Bellamy snapped then, and he grabbed Murphy by the collar to pull him close with a snarl. He had tried to get his anger under control lately, after dealing with the literal hell version of himself a few months ago, but right now, things were different. Bellamy had to be angry in order to get Clarke back, and he would do anything to get her out of this place. 

"What do you mean?" Bellamy pressured, fist clenching in Murphy's shirt. "What do you mean you _can't_ find her?" 

"It's not as easy as you think," He explained through gritted teeth. "The last scream we heard was different than the others, it was like she was _everywhere_. I couldn't pinpoint her location at all." 

Bellamy took a deep breath, calming himself. He lets go of the shirt, pushing a snarling Murphy away from him with excessive force. He wasn't a werewolf like Gabriel, or an experiment like Monty Green who tried killing him once before, he was just someone who loved his friends like family. Someone who wants Clarke back, and he didn't have any clue if she would be any different when they get her out of here, but she was his best friend first. Banshee, _second_. He knows she could save herself in any other situation, but seeing her so hopeless and distant in her cell upstairs—it broke a piece of him. 

It was tearing at his heart, breaking him up inside. Piece by piece. 

_"Bellamy, it's not safe." She told him, hand shakily wrapping around his wrist. He kneeled beside her, hands tugging at her restraints because he had to get her out of here now. He had to distract his view from the blood stains on her pillow, or the purple bruises under her eyes. "Bell, please listen."_

_"You're crazy if you think I'm letting you do this alone." Bellamy assured, eyes widening._

_"You need to go, right now." She emphasized, her grip weakening on his arm. "Right now."_

_"Clarke," He pleads._

_"Go. Please."_

The memory flashes through his brain quickly, heart pounding against his ribcage harshly. He needed to save her, he needed to get her out of here. Bellamy doesn't waste time in thinking about Gabriel and Josephine in the control room trying to turn off the power of the entire building, or Monty and Miller who couldn't help him instead because they were supernatural beings and couldn't get past the mountain ash. He doesn't think about his friends, because shamelessly, his only thoughts are about Clarke. 

"We need to do something," Bellamy mutters under his breath, scanning the narrow hallway for anything useful. He pushes past Murphy, and puts his ear next to the rusted pipes that lined the corridor. 

"What?" Murphy asked, walking towards him. 

"You need to break these," He says, relieved to find that the pipes were empty and hollow. When Murphy doesn't move, too surprised by the idea, he grabs him by the sleeve to hear for himself. "You would be able to hear down the pipe, you idiot." A single pause. "The open airway would make it easier for you to hear since sound travels." 

Murphy nods after a second of thinking to himself, then he raises his hand only to strike down on the rusted metal. He doesn't wince when bending the pipe in his direction, and he puts his ear to the opening and closes his eyes to concentrate. 

"Bellamy?" 

"Tell me that you found her," He inched closer, hope blooming in the pit of his stomach. 

"I—" It's all Murphy could get out before Clarke's screeching is heard through the pipeline. Through the entire corridor. Bellamy knew it was bad, that she was getting worse because Marcus Kane had told him the night before that once Clarke loses control of the voices inside her head, her screams would become too intense for her body to handle. She would die, bringing innocent people along with her. She would burst her own ear drums first, vocal chords destroyed, sanity lost.

He couldn't let that happen.

Bellamy covers his ears, wincing at the sound while Murphy does the same.

"I found her," Murphy straightens, a look of guilt written all over his face. "But she doesn't have a lot of time, I could practically smell her fear and blood from here."

_Bellamy couldn't let Clarke die._

* * *

"Clarke?" Bellamy pounded his fist against the metal door, ears ringing with adrenaline. He couldn't hear much besides the voice of the doctor, but he knew she was in there. She was on the other side of the door, and he couldn't do anything besides wait for Murphy to break the door off it's hinges to get to her. Clarke was on the other side of the door, and he couldn't do _anything_. "Clarke, I'm gonna get you out okay?" He yelled hoping she could hear him. 

He gulps nervously, glancing to Murphy who was trying to break the door down by repeatedly slamming into it. He wanted to scream and say that it wasn't working, that the door wasn't budging so they could both think of something smarter. But, he couldn't. The only words that got past his lips were Clarke's name and empty threats to the doctor that only fueled his anger. 

Bellamy's hand tingles when he stops pounding on the door, and he's almost sure that he could break one of his fingers if he kept going, but he holds back when he hears the sound of a drill. The buzzing fills his ears, and both men freeze in their spots as if it was happening to them. He grunts in frustration, tries to yell her name one more time, is willing to sacrifice his life for Clarke's if he has to--and he pulls on the knob again, for the millionth time. 

He twists, and twists, and twists until his knuckles turn white. 

"You're gonna hurt yourself." Murphy's voice sounds like an echo, like something so far away from what's real. 

"I don't _care_ ," Bellamy forces the words out, head thumping against the door. "She's in there going through much worse and I don't know if we could—" 

Clarke screams echo through the corridor again, and Bellamy swears that he could feel the floor vibrate beneath his feet. He covers his ears and loses his balance from trying to get further away from the door to sooth his ear drums from the noise, and he knows it's her screech and call for help that makes him realize that she knows he's there. As much as he wanted to bang the door down with his own bare fists, he knew Clarke was hurting more and more. She was struggling to survive, and Bellamy could feel his heart drop to his feet. 

It lasts less than a minute, followed by painful silence. 

When Murphy pulls at the door knob, it detaches from the door and falls to the floor. 

In that moment, his heart falls right into Clarke's trembling hands on the other side of the door, and neither of them look back. Bellamy shoves Murphy backwards, not caring what happens to him, and pushes the door open with all of his strength. When he catches Clarke's wandering and distant gaze, eyes widening so big that he's afraid they'd fall out, he's never felt happier. 

With the doctor's head bleeding out into a puddle beside the operating table, Bellamy's only focus is the two wires stuck on her temples that he needs to rip off her head before it does any more damage. 

"Bellamy?" Her voice is hoarse, small. She looks up at him in a daze, sweat drenched hair sticking to her forehead and he doesn't hesitate to curl the hair behind her ears. "You came back for me." She says in disbelief, her brain too slow to catch up with things. 

"I'll always come back for you," Bellamy rushes the words out of his mouth, panic rising when he hears the alarm overhead. "I wouldn't leave you here, not like this." 

'It's dangerous and you shouldn't of—" 

"Clarke, listen to me." He grabs her face in his hands, fingers tingling with the sensation of her clammy skin under his hands. "I need you to save the reprimanding for later, when we're out of his place. Let me save your life first, and you could yell at me when we're done." He stops to slow his heartrate with a sharp inhale. "Got it?" 

Clarke doesn't have the strength to answer him, so she nods slowly with a hint of a smile growing across her lips. Bellamy swallows the burning in his throat, doing anything to keep back the tears when Clarke's glossy eyes meet his as he lifts her up from the chair and onto the floor. She flinches when her bare pale feet meet the cold floor, but he's there to support her with an arm slung around her shoulders. 

That's what they were to each other. A support system. 

* * *

"Clarke, _c'mon_ keep your eyes open," Bellamy encouraged while pulling her in so she could nuzzle more into his shoulder, so he could see her face. He slicks her blonde hair back, taking notice of how she's cradling her left ear and having trouble staying in one spot. Her face twists in discomfort, black robe sticking to her skin to disguise the bruises left behind by needles and Bellamy waits a little longer to start panicking. 

"You should've left me there," She cried out, pushing away from his embrace. 

"That's ridiculous," Bellamy exclaimed, wrapping an arm around her waist while he makes eye contact with Gabriel in the front seat who gets the message to drive as fast he could. He didn't need to be told twice, knowing how much Clarke meant to the both of them. "We need to get you to the animal clinic, now."

He knows Marcus would have something to help Clarke, and Gabriel was driving as fast as he could. 

"You can't save me, Bellamy." Clarke's eyes snapped shut, a silent scream turned whimper escaping her lips. Her skin was turning white even in the darkness of the night, "I told you before, you had to leave me there. I can't be saved when I'm like _this_.

"Like what?" Bellamy questioned, pleading for an answer. Anything that could give them a chance at saving her. 

"I'm a monster," She whimpered, and suddenly, her bloodshot eyes opened and she looked around Gabriel's car frantically. "A monster that you should've left to die."

"I was _not_ about to—" 

"If I don't die," Clarke cuts him off, her hand grazing his cheek gently. As if she wasn't about to destroy his entire world. "If I don't die, then someone else will." 

And he doesn't know how to feel after that. 

* * *

Bellamy doesn't fight back when Gabriel has to shove past him to carry Clarke and rush to lay her down on Kane's desk. He's close to hyperventilating out of fear, because she kept gasping for oxygen and arching her back off the table to relieve some of the pain radiating throughout her entire body. She was in so much pain, and Bellamy wanted to kick himself for not being able to do anything about it. He couldn't take her pain away, and he should've been able to grasp the idea of failure when his own mother was bleeding out after being stabbed by one of the berserkers a few months ago. All he could do then, was take his mother's hand and squeeze it tightly as he kept two fingers on her pulse. 

So he does it again. He takes a deep breath, even if he's shaky, and reaches for Clarke's hand and squeezes tightly. 

"I'm _gonna_..." Her words trail off, and she's gritting her teeth so hard that her neck veins begin to pop out. She exhales when she releases the tension, to only clench her jaw again. "I don't know what's happening to me." 

The defeat in her voice makes him ache, so instead of focusing on her, he looks to Kane who's already filling a syringe full of sedative to calm the voices in her head. 

"It's gonna be over soon," Bellamy promises, still not able to look down at her. It makes him feel weak, just standing there holding her hand when she's wincing in unbearable pain and sorrow from complete strangers who they don't even know. "Soon, Clarke." He swore, looking to Gabriel for reassurance. 

Gabriel doesn't move, not knowing what to say or do to make his best friend feel any better. He was just as tired as anyone else in the room, with exhaustion seeping into his bones and slumping shoulders keeping him upright as he waited for an instruction. 

Marcus tells them to turn Clarke on her side, and he sticks the syringe full of clear liquid into her neck. She trembles, and she freezes after the last drop exits the needle and Bellamy wants to cry out in relief because it must be working if she's not reacting. Bellamy forces himself to look away, especially when the needle goes directly in the wound below Clarke's left ear and she's trying her best not to scream at the added intrusion. 

It wasn't long after Bellamy opened his mouth to ask what would happen next, when Clarke's screeching jolted her upright with her back arched far enough to make them nervous that she could snap something in half. He reached for her shoulders first, pushing her back against the table with numb ears, and then he realized something else. Her mouth wasn't closing, which meant she hadn't stopped screaming even when he felt like he couldn't hear.

Then, the glass windows surrounding the group begin to crack. Gabriel doesn't have enough time to warn everyone when he could hear the small cracks in every one of the four windows in the room, and it's too late when the glass breaks and _shatters_ with a piercing sound. 

Bellamy could see Marcus's mouth moving, like he was saying something that he couldn't quite catch. When the glass breaks, he hunches over Clarke's body to shield her from the explosion and tries to cover her as much as he could. He tried to cover her legs with the hem of his oversized flannel, being that she was only wearing sleep shorts and an old t-shirt but he knew he wasn't able to do much. 

He knows the glass has stopped flying and the room stopped spinning when he feels a shard of glass being ripped away from his shoulder blade. It wasn't a deep cut, but he felt the pain all over. He knows it's over when Gabriel pulls another one from his side, and he tries to bandage the cut while shielding Clarke's unconscious body . 

"Clarke?" He calls out her name softly, still trying to get his senses back in order. He lifts his head once Gabriel pulls back, and tries for a second time when she doesn't move under his weight. "Clarke, are you okay?" He brushes away the small pieces of glass that scatter around her face, luckily leaving no scars or blood which he was glad for. He was glad that he got most of the impact. 

She doesn't move, and before he starts to worry, he fully straightens so he isn't restricting her and he places two fingers on her neck pulse and pushes down hard. 

"Clarke?" He knows he could hear again, with Gabriel's gasp of surprise and Marcus's footsteps as he runs out of the room. _It's all wrong_. Bellamy could only feel how hard his heart is beating, because he could feel it in his fingers, in his ears, in his feet. It's everywhere, the feeling of dread. 

Her body was dropping in temperature, and he could tell even when his hands were getting cold from nerves. Bellamy continues wiping away the pieces of glass from her face. From under her bruised eyes, from under her hollow cheeks and dried blood under her jaw. He can't stop touching her, "Come on, Clarke." He tried again, holding her face in his hands. "Come on, you need to wake up. You have to get up now, because it's _over_." 

She was safe now, in a room with her two best friends after being saved from a murderous doctor who wanted to experiment on her. She didn't need to fight anyone anymore, she just had to believe she was going to be okay. She couldn't give up now, not when she was this close to going back to normal. 

He wouldn't let her give up on herself. 

In the light of Marcus's overhead lamp, Bellamy wants to sob because her body looks so fragile and pale. This wasn't his best friend, or the girl with the smile that lit up the entire room every time she would strut inside of a classroom, _his_ Clarke. This wasn't the girl so full of life and adventure, or aspiration to help people who can't defend themselves. 

He lets his fingers tangle in her scalp, lifting her head so he could hold her closer than before. He couldn't stop thinking about the moments that lead up to this one, to the possibility of losing Clarke forever. _The first night she came to his house because she needed someone to talk to._ "Clarke, you can't die on us like this." He says roughly, lower lip trembling. _The night he took her to the dance because Finn broke up with her and she didn't have anyone to go with._ "You have to keep fighting, I know you must be tired from doing that all your life, but you can't leave us." He's close to begging at this point. "You can't leave me, you hear that? I can't lose you. And trust me, I know you've probably heard that a thousand times from me over the years when I had a petty crush on you but I mean it, okay?" _When he made her believe in her abilities to do better, to be a better person after everything had gone wrong._ "If you go, then I'll go out of my freaking mind without you." 

He recognizes Gabriel's voice in the midst of his urgency, but he ignored it. 

Bellamy loses his patience with how nothing seemed to change, and he raises his voice. "Come on, Clarke, I'm not leaving you again. I'm not listening to you, so I need you to start yelling at me to do something." He pleads for her life, gladly and willingly taking any arguments or banter from Clarke about how much of a terrible listener he is. " _Damnit_ , Clarke. I can't lose you! Please, open your eyes for me and it'll be okay. I'll be fine if you just do that for me." 

When Marcus comes back into the room with another round of sedative in the syringe, Gabriel helps in putting Clarke on her side as they follow the same procedure from before. Bellamy holds his breath, cradling her head in his hands to keep her still. 

"If this doesn't work, I don't know what will." Marcus tells them, panting. 

It was now or never. If this second dose didn't work, she would be gone forever. 

Bellamy kneels, leaning in close until he could whisper in Clarke's ear while he holds one of her hands not caring if she's unresponsive. When she wakes up, not a question of if she does, the first muscle she could move is her fingers. He wants to be the first to feel her come back to life, so he thinks back to anything that could trigger a response from her. "You have to wake up, princess." He knows it's a childish nickname, since the last time he called her that, they were in the forth grade and she had come to school dressed as one of the Disney princesses on her birthday. It stuck with him every since, especially with how beautiful she's always been in his eyes. "You're a fighter, Clarke. You have to keep fighting." He whispered lowly, so Gabriel or Marcus wouldn't be able to hear. 

_You have to keep fighting so I could tell you how much I love you_ , Is what he truly wants to say. 

When his throat goes dry, he doesn’t know what else to do. He tightened his grip on her hand, gaze switching back and forth between Gabriel and Marcus. 

  
_I don’t know what to do._ Bellamy hoped they understood what he was trying to say, because he doesn’t know if he could survive this after all they’ve lost. His head thumps against the table when he can’t bear to keep looking at her, and he’s biting his lip hard with eyes shut. He just wants to feel something, anything, he welcomes the pain of tensing his entire body to keep from acknowledging the— 

She tried to gasp for air, but it comes out like a cough and Bellamy's head lifts. 

  
Finally, after an eternity of waiting for the world to work in his favor, Clarke’s body hiccups against the metal and she’s stuck gasping for air like she had been drowning under water. _The truth_. He didn’t want to acknowledge the truth of her dying, or how much he’s always loved her. He wants to tell her how he feels, he wants to tell her everything. 

  
Bellamy jumps into action first, leaping up and pulling her up so she could sit properly. He’s behind her now, making sure she doesn’t fall when she comes back to her senses. 

  
“You’re okay, Clarke.” He says aloud, much to his own disbelief and burst of hope in the room. He’s not only telling her, as she clutches her hand to her chest to catch her breath, but to the voice inside that was so close to convincing him that he lost her forever without saying goodbye. 

  
Not helping the smile that grows across his face, or the way his body naturally gravitates towards her, he’s soon beside her and pulling her close to him. She weakly wraps an arm around his torso, as he runs his hand gently up and down her spine. 

  
She’s hiding her face in his shirt, leaning on his weight entirely. 

  
“It’s gonna be fine,” Bellamy whispers as his vision clears from threatening tears. He didn’t have anything to cry about anymore, “I’m with you, we’re all here for you.” 

  
In that moment, Gabriel tells Marcus to go and call her mother who had been looking for her ever since she left Polis Institute—and Bellamy was left with holding Clarke, not saying that he didn’t mind doing it, but there’s no place he’d rather be. 

  
“You saved me,” She said, voice scratchy and dry from coughing and dehydration. “Bellamy, you saved _me_.” Her voice cracked on the last word, and he couldn't help the exhale that passes his lips in awe of her strength. 

  
She was just as in shock as he was, with her big blue curious eyes looking up at him sideways like he was some hero in a fairytale. 

  
“You’re someone worth saving, every _single_ time.” He assured, wanting to maintain the intimacy of the moment between them. “Do you understand that, Clarke? You’re someone that I’ll do anything in my power to save.” With her soft breathing against his neck, and the way her hand twirls around a loose thread of his sweater, he feels complete. He knows Clarke will recover from this, and whatever premonitions she has from now on, they’ll face them together. 

  
“Thank you for keeping me alive.” It’s the first full sentence she’s been able to say since she woke up, and he grins. 

  
“Anytime, princess.” Bellamy says, letting his head rest on top of hers with a soft motion. He doesn’t touch the side of her head that’s blotchy with dried blood, not wanting to be angry right now. “Thanks for the compliment though, you don’t do those often.” 

  
Clarke huffs against his chest, letting him know that it’s the best laugh she could muster for the time being, and it’s the best sound he’s ever heard. Her fist comes to rest above his beating heart, and since she wasn't able to do anything else, she lays her hand on his chest and he can't help himself. She was reminding herself that he was alive too, and he has to show her. 

His larger hand covers her delicate fingers, and he takes a deep breath to fill his lungs. 

They made it. They were alive. 

_"On my way now_   
_Don't give up on me_   
_And no one knows what_   
_What tomorrow brings_   
_These weary eyes will never rest_   
_Until they look in yours again_   
_I'm on my way now_   
_I still believe"_


End file.
